What do I do now?

Things change. I went into work Friday morning early and was out the door by 8:30 with the pictures from my desk, a business card for momento, and tears running down my face. Not because I'm sad I won't be talking to coaches, or running events, or working 14 hour days in January next year, but because I don't have a paycheck coming in and the rest of the day was uncertain. I came home to a very compassionate Katie and kind words from people close to me. Life is funny and God has a great sense of humor. I've spent the last several months working very hard. It's funny because the week I got let go, I was in to work early every day, before everyone else except Bonnie. I can sleep at night because I know it wasn't my work ethic. All my notes are in the database and nothing is left undone. What is happening, is that I already feel more calm and relaxed than I have in a year. I'm going to be okay. I actually feel like I can spend time with God in prayer and reading and journaling and not have my mind racing on other things. I can pray hard about the future not knowing what it holds. It's exciting. I don't know what is coming next, where I'll be, or what I'll be doing every day. And it's alright because God can see it. I only want what He wants. I don't want to look for something as just another paycheck to bring home. I want something bigger than me. I want 'to know and follow hard after you'. I praise God for this opportunity to see what He wants for me and to grow closer to Him in the chase.

Comments

Lauren said…
Ginny - What an amazing perspective. Thanks for the reminder that a shut door (such as a job) is an opportunity to spend more time with the Lord, without the clutter of our mundane lives. Keep holding on to his promises! Psalm 16 is a good one to read, too :)
4:59 PM
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