If i were to write a book...

...I think I would title it... dot...dot...dot. No really.

dot dot dot...

Because, I think that's what life is. In a series of random or not-so-random events, it is a series of dot dot dots. :) You never really know what is going to happen next. Have you heard the phrase "if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans"? I wonder how many times I've tried to tell God MY plans. haha. And then they always change. dot dot dot. ...

I tried to tell God I wanted to be a journalist. Yep, on the TV. I was wrong...I told God I'd never leave Raleigh, and then he moved me in a big fat circle until I got to Charlotte, where I told God I'd never move back to. Isn't it kindof humorous? I also mentioned to Him that I never wanted to move back in with my parents...so guess where I'm at?

The past six or so months for me have been alot about attempting to 'surrender' my life to Christ. Although this is something I've probably mentioned to Him that I was going to do several times...I think it's about time I do it. I know how much He really loves me. I see it every day in the people in my life, my friends, and some very specific people that He's put in my life that show me what it means to be REAL. And then I go and push people away half the time, because of things in the past...and that's just not the way to do it. Dot dot dot. This week has been an up and down kindof week, and spending alot of time in prayer and reading and just asking God to show me what He wants for my life, so I make sure that I don't screw it up. I mean, of course, I know I can't mess up God's plans, but I really really really just want to do what He wants me to.

So, last night, I went over to my best friend's house, to see her and her new baby girl. Her husband was there too...and they are like this cute little family now, and I love it! She is the prettiest little girl, and she has these big blue eyes and stare up at you. And I can fit both my hands around her! I just love her so much and I just met her!! Having a family is really something I'm looking foward to. Not sure when that will happen, but again...that's God's plan, so I can be patient :)

I'm 26, and so I know I've got a lot of life to live. But I think about my friend Janet who passed at 28, and I think... if I knew I only had two years left, what would I do right now? Would I love deeper? Or make sure to dance in the middle of the street, or kiss in the rain, or just listen to the rain... or just not be afraid. OH! I heard this song on the radio last night...and it inspired me...


Wake up to the sunlight
With your windows open
Don't hold in your anger
or leave things unspoken
Wear your red dress
Use your good dishes
Make a big mess and make lots of wishes
Have what you want
But want what you have
And don't spend your life lookin' back

Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
You won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
Cuz it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live

So go to the ballgames
And go to the ballet
And go see your folks more than just on the holidays
Kiss all your children
Dance with your wife
Tell your husband you love him every night
Don't run from the truth
'Cause you can't get away
Just face it and you'll be okay

Oh wherever you are and wherever you've been
Now is the time to begin

So give to the needy
And pray for the grieving
E'en when you don't think that you can
'Cause all that you do is bound to come back to you
So think of your fellow man
Make peace with God and make peace with yourself '
Cause in the end there's nobody else

Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live

'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live

Turn up the Music by Point of Grace.

I just lovvvee that song... the lyrics are amazing. and Real.